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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26345560">This is not the end</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariothellama/pseuds/mariothellama'>mariothellama</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Men's Football RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bravertz Forever, Comfort, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Fluffy Rather Than Angsty, Getting Together, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Nerves and Worries, Sharing a Bed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:01:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,011</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26345560</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariothellama/pseuds/mariothellama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Stuttgart. The night before the transfer. Kai can't sleep and he goes to Julian's room.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Julian Brandt/Kai Havertz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>This is not the end</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It felt almost like old times, like it had been in their Leverkusen days. Back when they were young, fearless and felt like the world was theirs. Theirs together.</p><p>They were training with each other again. Sharing in-jokes, stupid, crazy things that meant nothing to anyone but them. The looks, the glances, the little touches. The things they’d always done, pretending they meant everything and nothing at the same time. The day Julian had stripped off right in front of him while he was tying his shoes. He’d kept on talking, pretending everything was cool, but of course he’d looked, sneaking a peak at Julian from under his eyelashes.</p><p>Julian was fit and toned - incredibly strong - but he was somehow solid, cuddly even. He missed that. He missed Julian’s solidity. How it felt to have Julian’s strong arms round him. To be pressed hard to his chest, lifted up in celebration, pressed together in hot, sweaty intimacy.</p><p>Now they were together, training together for the first time in over six months. Everything had changed, however, and they had to keep their distance from each other. He understood why but it hurt. It was almost physically painful being so close but not close enough. And then there was something else, the cloud that hung over him.</p><p>Julian never asked him about it. He’d made it clear that he would always be there for him whenever he wanted to talk about it but he wouldn’t ask questions. It seemed like the whole world was speculating about his transfer and it meant a lot that his friend didn’t want to add to the pressure. But it was the elephant in the room, especially now.</p><p>He’d come to training camp as he couldn’t bear to just sit at home in Cologne and wait. He wanted to be with the team. If he was honest, he’d wanted to spend some time with Julian. Of course everyone had looked at him as he turned up with two cases, drawing their own conclusions. Whereas Julian had sauntered in calm and relaxed with just a shoulder bag.</p><p>He’d known before he came that he wouldn’t play tonight. An injury would risk his transfer falling through, something neither he or Leverkusen wanted. But he was sat on the bench next to Julian, the two of them chattering away.</p><p>The match hadn’t quite ended the way they wanted and everyone was a bit subdued. That helped him to hide how he was feeling. The message he’d been waiting for had arrived. The deal was done and he would fly to London tomorrow.</p><p>Lying in bed, he tried to calm his mind. Tomorrow would be a big day and he needed his sleep. But sleep wouldn’t come and he tossed and turned, twisting the bedclothes round him. Finally he admitted defeat, reaching for his phone.</p><p>
  <em>Are you asleep yet?</em>
</p><p><em>No</em> the answer came almost straight away.</p><p>
  <em>I can’t sleep. Can I?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes</em>
</p><p>He slipped on a t-shirt and a pair of tracksuit bottoms, making his way to Julian’s room as quietly as he could. Technically they were breaking the rules. His phone vibrated in his hand.</p><p>
  <em>Door open. Just come in.</em>
</p><p>He had to grin at Agent Brandt. Julian was obviously thinking the same way as him and that a knock on the door late at night was not a good idea.</p><p>Pushing the door open, he crept in. Julian was in bed, the room dim, only lit by a bedside lamp. Now he was here, he didn’t know what to do. Or even why he was here. Julian made the decision for him, pulling back the edge of the quilt.</p><p>Kicking off his shoes, he slipped into bed beside Julian. They were used to being close but this was incredibly intimate, especially when Julian switched off the light.</p><p>‘This way there’s no risk of anyone seeing the light under the door,’ Julian explained. ‘If we cuddle up close and whisper, nobody will hear.’</p><p>Julian was right, of course, and he inched closer. It didn’t help that Julian was naked except for a pair of shorts or maybe even briefs. He tried not to think about that. But Julian wouldn’t let him.</p><p>‘Won’t you be too hot like that? Don’t you want to undress?’</p><p>He swallowed hard. Julian was right. The bed was warm. Julian was warm. Julian’s breath was warm against his face. They’d always joked that Julian was a bit like a walking hot water bottle. He struggled out of his t-shirt, dropping it on the floor. After pausing for a moment, he decided to throw caution to the wind, kicking off his tracksuit pants. They were breaking so many rules tonight already.</p><p>But this was exactly what he’d needed. Lying here sharing each other’s space, each other’s warmth, each other’s breath. He let himself relax, the tension leaving his limbs.</p><p>‘You’re leaving, aren’t you?’ Julian made it easy for him.</p><p>‘Yes, tomorrow. It’s all arranged. I fly straight to London. Are you okay with it?’</p><p>‘Of course I am, if it’s what you want. I left you, went to Dortmund, after all. You don’t even need to ask. We always knew that our careers would take us away from Leverkusen, away from each other. I’ll miss us hanging out so often. But we’ll still be friends, nothing is going to change that. London isn’t the other side of the world. When things are more normal, I can fly over and visit you. Only one thing matters to me. Are you happy?’</p><p>‘Yes, I am. I’m glad to finally have certainty, to know where I’ll play next year. I need to take the next step in my career, challenge myself. But … ’</p><p>‘But …?’ Julian prompted him.</p><p>‘Everything will change tomorrow. Nothing will be the same again. I’ve spent half my life at Leverkusen. This is what I wanted … what I want. But I feel more emotional than I expected. It’s confusing’</p><p>Maybe he imagined it, but Julian seemed to snuggle closer.</p><p>‘That’s not surprising. This is a massive step, a huge deal. You’re leaving behind everything that’s shaped your life since you were a little boy. And it’s a risk. We know that every transfer is a risk. Nobody knows what will happen, how it will work out. But we have to do it to grow as players, as people. Your move is bigger than mine. More money. Going abroad. But I believe in you, Kai. I believe in the little boy who travelled to Leverkusen and back every day, who left home when he was still a kid to follow his dream. I believe in the player I’ve seen grow over these last few years. If anyone can do it, you can.’</p><p>Wow! He was stunned. He’d never heard Julian make a speech like this. Julian really did believe in him.</p><p>‘Really. You mean that!’</p><p>‘Of course I do. Although I don’t want to see too many pictures of you cosying up to Werner, cheating on our friendship.’</p><p>Something weird flipped in his stomach. Julian was joking, of course he was. But maybe he wanted Julian to be a bit jealous? That would prove that he meant something to him, that their friendship was special. He couldn’t help thinking back to the day Julian had given him his bracelet, telling him that him leaving Leverkusen would change nothing between them. But Dortmund and Cologne was one thing, them both playing in the Bundesliga with similar schedules. While Dortmund and London were worlds apart. He wouldn’t even be able to come home for Christmas.</p><p>‘Nah. Nothing will ever come between us. You’ll always be my favourite idiot teammate. We’ll always be Kai and Jule. Bravertz will live forever.’</p><p>‘Glad to hear it.’ Maybe it was wishful thinking but Julian really did sound pleased.</p><p>They talked for a bit, whispering under the intimate cover of darkness. They were so close that he could sense the warmth from Julian’s body, feel his breath on his skin. At first he though he’d imagined it, but it was there, Julian’s lips brushing against his in a kiss soft as the flutter of butterfly wings. He held his breath, not moving, waiting to see what happened. But he didn’t draw back, hoping Julian would take that that as a signal that he was okay with this.</p><p>Another soft kiss and then the unmistakable feeling of a tongue licking gently along his lower lip. That did something to him. He felt something deep in his stomach. If he was honest, somewhere he didn’t want to think about right now, not in bed with a nearly naked Julian. Not when he was almost naked himself.</p><p>Tentatively, he parted his lips, letting Julian lick inside. His own tongue flicked out, tasting Julian’s lips, their tongues sliding together. And then they were kissing properly, soft and wet, then hard and deep. He was kissing Julian! His brain was struggling to cope but his body obviously had absolutely no problem with kissing his long-time teammate and friend. Kissing a guy was different. Good different. There was softness as well as hardness. The slight friction of Julian’s stubble against his skin. But Julian’s lips were as full, warm and supple as he could have dreamed of. They fitted together. It sounded corny and cheesy, like something out of a dumb romantic movie, but it felt as if they were made for each other.</p><p>‘Tell me if this is going too far.’</p><p>A kiss swallowed down the cross between a whimper and a squeak he let out as Julian cupped him through his briefs. He pressed himself against Julian’s palm, hoping that would answer the question. And Julian seemed to get the message, sliding his fingers inside. This was all so new, so good. Julian’s fingers tangling in the short hairs sent tingles through him. The sensation of Julian’s long, elegant fingers on the bare skin of his dick, thumb swiping over the sensitive tip nearly made him lose it on the spot.</p><p>He knew he wouldn’t last long and that gave him the courage to touch Julian, slipping his hand under the waistband of his briefs. Julian was hot, so hot, hard and heavy in his hand but silky to the touch. He’d never touched another guy’s dick before, but judging from the panting noises Julian was making, he was close to coming as well.</p><p>It was awkward and messy, but in a good way, the two of them getting each other off, hidden under the cover of darkness. Their kisses were a sloppy mess of tongues and teeth grazing over lips, muffling their moans and sighs as they came.</p><p>He cleaned himself up afterwards with the tissue Julian offered him. He felt happy and relaxed but also uncertain. Was that it? Did Julian want him to stay? Or was that a one-off, never to be repeated? He had no idea.</p><p>Julian was on his phone, like always. Maybe that was a hint that he should leave? Then Julian yawned, settling down and holding out his arms.</p><p>‘I set the alarm for early. Disgustingly early for my taste. That should allow you to get back to your room without being seen. If you are, you can just say that you came to say goodbye to me. Anyone would believe that.’</p><p>Julian wanted him to stay. Spend the night. All his dreams were coming true today. He curled up against Julian. He’d always guessed that his teammate would make a wonderful pillow and he’d been right. Julian was the best pillow ever.</p><p>‘We’ll get through this,’ Julian whispered. ‘We’re together now. It will be hard being apart from you for so long – especially after tonight. I can’t wait to do that with you again. But you’re worth the wait, Kai Havertz. You’re worth more than a 100 million euros to me.’</p><p>He might be the most expensive German player in history, or at least he would be tomorrow. But he was precious in Julian’s eyes and that meant so much more to him.</p>
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